Wedding, job, and money. What do they have in common? STRESS

Dorm roll please...........the wedding date is September 20, 2014 at Sunset Hills Country Club in Carrollton, GA at 5:00 pm! Our colors are white, black, deep red, and silver. Our flower girls are my nieces Anna Grace and Allie and our honorary groomsmen are my nephews Caden and Maddox. The only way I convinced my nephew, Maddox, (he's 5) was by telling him that we have these magical sunglasses that if he puts them on he'll be invisible and no one will see him walk down the aisle. He's pretty shy in large crowds. Caden and Maddox are going to walk down the aisle wearing sunglasses with signs that say,"Uncle Chris" "here comes your girl." They're going to be ADORABLE! My dress is gorgeous and my hair dresser and I are already talking about hair ideas. Everything is going well, except, everything is so dang expensive. With me only working part time and with Chris no longer traveling for work he took a LARGE pay cut, so it's quite a stressful time. The bills are hard enough, then you add on the price of a wedding. Woah. It makes my blood pressure go up just thinking about it today. Chris got hired for a second job today, and I am looking for a second job. With me finding a second job however, I have to let my current job know so there isn't a "conflict of interest." If I found another full time job, I wouldn't be opposed to taking it because I need the hours, the stability of 40 hours, and the benefits. If I could find any way to make some extra money, I would be down for it. I just don't know what to do. I'm glad I have an outlet of writing to express my stress. I just wish I knew what to do. I've prayed and have had others pray, but I still feel unresolved. I'm excited to be marrying my best friend, but it is giving me extreme anxiety planning and paying for everything. I have to have some sort of change, so we can begin saving money. Chris's second job is PRN, which means, "as needed." I'm not sure what I'm going to do, but I have to do something. I always feel like I have an elephant sitting on my chest and butterflies in my belly. The more I think about it, the worse I feel. If I had a full time job i would feel so much better. I think this is what I have to do. It will make everything so much easier, where to look? I'm sorry to bellyache about this, when I know so many people have it worse, but this is my current situation, it is the only thing on my mind. I can't even have normal conversations without the anxiety creeping into my mind. 

Alright, that's it for now, but before I sign off, I'm just going to ask you to pray for me, or send me good thoughts and vibes. I need all that I can get.

Goodnight.

XoXo,

Tia 

New Year New Me

I have never made a New Year's Resolution, and I don't consider this one, but I am creating a food/weight log. I am going to track my weight everyday and slowly change my exercise and diet regiment. I figure this will aid in keeping weight off of me. If I try to lose a lot all at once, I'll just gain it back, and then some. I'm going to blog about my journey of getting fit, so I can come back and see my transformation. I will never post my exact weight, but instead I'll tell how much I lose. I'll tell what I've seen is working best for me, what isn't working, what exercises I perform and how my body does with them. I'm going to write about my endurance level and how it increases. I am going to change everything, and I think keeping this blog will help me.
 My friend, Lauren, has introduced me to the Paleo diet, and it's where you don't eat dairy or bread. I believe I could do that. So that is what I am going to start with. I am going to post a link to it at the bottom. The Paleo diet is basically taking your diet back to hunter and gatherer days. More proteins, fruits, vegetables, and Omega-3s and less starch, sugar, legumes, etc...

I'll keep you posted on my progress.

XoXo,
Tia

My Choice

It's my choice to live the way I want
It's my choice to go to church or to not
It's my choice to believe how I want to believe
and it's my choice to love who I want to love.

It's my choice to like or not people
It's my choice to get married
It's my choice to have children
and it's my choice to choose what I want

It wasn't your choice to make for me
It wasn't my choice for you to take MY virture
It wasn't my choice for you to take MY dignity
It wasn't my choice for any of this at all

It's my choice to pick myself up and keep
It's my choice not to be scarred by the memory
It's my choice to find love again
and it's my choice to find trust 

Hola Blogaroos

Long time, no write. I've been terribly busy and sick! Walking pneumonia + Tia = Pitiful! Anyways, I am much better now and I am here to share with each and every one of you, Holiday Angst/Anxiety. We ALL experience this EVERY year, and it never seems to get any easier, between bills, presents, outtings, and let us not forget families and shared times. I completely understand why suicide rates go up this time of year. Bills you're supposed to pay, but you don't know how. People becoming greedier by the day. Demanding families wanting more and more of your time, so between families and work and friend's holiday parties, please tell me when you will have time to sleep!? I hate spending money, so this time of the year I am sickened by how much I spend and how much everybody else spends. I want to tell parents, "No, you're already spoiled child who has a separate room for all of his/her toys, doesn't need ALL 25 toys on their list!" What happened  to worshipping the birth of Baby Jesus? He only got 3 presents (gold, frankincense, and myrhh) and HE is the savior of us sinners. Granted, his presents were expensive, but still, some parents spend way too much money. They're building unrealistic expectations for their children. Plus, when kids go back to school in January and are compaing what Santa brought all of them, some kids are going to feel that Santa plays favorites because they didn't get as much as other kids. Parents, please tell me if yall are competing with one another to buy your kids the most presents?? Oh, sure Dalton's mommy and daddy got him a 10 day vacation to Disney World, but Sophia's mommy and daddy could only afford to get her a new dolly. However, both presents come from "Santa," so will the other children think sweet little Sophia was on the naughty list because she only got one new present or was the annoying Dalton exceptionally good this year? It just doesn't make sense to spend all that money and causing yourselves so much stress. I understand wanting your child happy, but spending so much every time a holiday/birthday rolls around doesn't set them up for real life expectations. If you truly want your child to do well in life and receive meaningful presents, set them up savings accounts/cds. These gifts keep on giving and the child won't understand how meaningful of a present it is until they are older.
I am a Christian, but I hate organized religion. I don't do churches, I prefer to worship God in my own way. However, on Christmas, I feel it's appropiate to pay even more attention and yes, money, to a churches to keep on teaching the Word. I feel like children should receive 3-4 meaningful presents for Christmas instead of a hallway of presents that they're bound to foget. The fewer presents you give, the more the toys will be remembered and the more the toys will be played with. Don't get me wrong, I had a very blessed childhood, and I never wanted for much, but looking back, I don't remember many specific presents.

One more thing on my Christmas tyriade and it'll be over for the season, hopefully.

What is the craze with this stuffed, magical Elf on a Shelf?? Why are you making messes, that you'll have to clean up, and blaming it on a stuffed figure? How does it keep your children on their best behavior?? I just don't get it. I don't particularly want to becuase I don't want to imply that I care. I want to my kids to behave all year long, not just for a month, and I want them to know why we're buying them their presents, and that they're coming from us AND Santa.

Okay, I really feel that a weight has been lifted off my chest. Thanks for reading!

XoXo,
Tia

Wedding OVERLOAD

Chris and I just became officially engaged this past Sunday, November 10, 2013, and I am already in wedding overload! I no longer wonder what causes a bridezilla! There's too much to plan! Engagement pictures, engagement party, wedding anouncement, invitiations x4 (party, 2 showers, and wedding.) Then there's flowers, venues, food, wedding party, registering, dresses, tuxes, shoes, dates, and so much more! I have been working on the guest list for the actual wedding and I am already at 68 people and that is only family, and not even including my side, apart from my immediate family.What I once thought would be a quiet, intimate wedding, will be bigger than I anticipated. I mean, I understand everyone wanting to be there to celebrate with us, but that's a lot  of mouths to feed. Especially at $15 per person. At the 68 people who I've already written down and at $15 a person that's already $1,020 just for the food! I don't want to pay that!  I'm thinking that naybe I want to have an afternoon wedding instead of an evening one because you can give them snacks and be happy. Although, if I have my wedding at this one beautiful venue that's only $300 to rent, I could enlist my family and Chris's to cook for it. That is an appealing idea. See, even though no one reads these amazing blogs, it gives me an outlet for my thoughts.

Okay, crisis is adverted.

XoXo,
Tia

Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

People grow and change, some together, some apart; some at the same rate, others faster or slower. You can't let people changing keep you from loving and experiencing life. Love who you want to love. Feel how you want to feel. Never give up on what's important to you. Don't be ashamed because of how you feel or what you do. Be proud of yourself in any situation you're in. Don't let other people's opinions dictate your life. You are your own ruler and no one can rule your life for you or without your consent.You are in charge and don't let someone else take control out of your hands! You cannot please everyone, so don't try. Make yourself happy and the rest will fall into place. Only you can decide how your life will change. Only you can decide how fast or slow your life changes, but whatever you do, don't fight change because it's going to happen. Change is inevitable.

News is here!

Hello my lovlies! I haven't written lately, and it's because I haven't had words rolling around my head begging me to write (or in this case type) them down. I guess I will begin with we got the new engagement ring and wedding band on Saturday and we sent his off to be cut down to size!!! Super stoked to get my engagement ring back, it's being especially made me for me! We were able to bring the wedding band home with us Saturday, and they are BEAUTIFUL!!! Also, I have written my vows as of last night, they're sweet, but not too mushy. I wrote them on graph paper with a sharpie, so today I am going to re-write them on actual notebook paper and pen.

I normally don't say things like they're blessed or I am blessed, but today as I sit and think about all I have received and been able to do in my life, I realize that I am blessed. And God blessed me even more by bringing Christopher and I together. I am not a sentimental, mushy woman, but when  I think of everything Chris and I have been through, I am amazed more and more that he loves me and wants to marry me. He really is my dream come true.

XoXo,
Tia