My Choice

It's my choice to live the way I want
It's my choice to go to church or to not
It's my choice to believe how I want to believe
and it's my choice to love who I want to love.

It's my choice to like or not people
It's my choice to get married
It's my choice to have children
and it's my choice to choose what I want

It wasn't your choice to make for me
It wasn't my choice for you to take MY virture
It wasn't my choice for you to take MY dignity
It wasn't my choice for any of this at all

It's my choice to pick myself up and keep
It's my choice not to be scarred by the memory
It's my choice to find love again
and it's my choice to find trust 

Hola Blogaroos

Long time, no write. I've been terribly busy and sick! Walking pneumonia + Tia = Pitiful! Anyways, I am much better now and I am here to share with each and every one of you, Holiday Angst/Anxiety. We ALL experience this EVERY year, and it never seems to get any easier, between bills, presents, outtings, and let us not forget families and shared times. I completely understand why suicide rates go up this time of year. Bills you're supposed to pay, but you don't know how. People becoming greedier by the day. Demanding families wanting more and more of your time, so between families and work and friend's holiday parties, please tell me when you will have time to sleep!? I hate spending money, so this time of the year I am sickened by how much I spend and how much everybody else spends. I want to tell parents, "No, you're already spoiled child who has a separate room for all of his/her toys, doesn't need ALL 25 toys on their list!" What happened  to worshipping the birth of Baby Jesus? He only got 3 presents (gold, frankincense, and myrhh) and HE is the savior of us sinners. Granted, his presents were expensive, but still, some parents spend way too much money. They're building unrealistic expectations for their children. Plus, when kids go back to school in January and are compaing what Santa brought all of them, some kids are going to feel that Santa plays favorites because they didn't get as much as other kids. Parents, please tell me if yall are competing with one another to buy your kids the most presents?? Oh, sure Dalton's mommy and daddy got him a 10 day vacation to Disney World, but Sophia's mommy and daddy could only afford to get her a new dolly. However, both presents come from "Santa," so will the other children think sweet little Sophia was on the naughty list because she only got one new present or was the annoying Dalton exceptionally good this year? It just doesn't make sense to spend all that money and causing yourselves so much stress. I understand wanting your child happy, but spending so much every time a holiday/birthday rolls around doesn't set them up for real life expectations. If you truly want your child to do well in life and receive meaningful presents, set them up savings accounts/cds. These gifts keep on giving and the child won't understand how meaningful of a present it is until they are older.
I am a Christian, but I hate organized religion. I don't do churches, I prefer to worship God in my own way. However, on Christmas, I feel it's appropiate to pay even more attention and yes, money, to a churches to keep on teaching the Word. I feel like children should receive 3-4 meaningful presents for Christmas instead of a hallway of presents that they're bound to foget. The fewer presents you give, the more the toys will be remembered and the more the toys will be played with. Don't get me wrong, I had a very blessed childhood, and I never wanted for much, but looking back, I don't remember many specific presents.

One more thing on my Christmas tyriade and it'll be over for the season, hopefully.

What is the craze with this stuffed, magical Elf on a Shelf?? Why are you making messes, that you'll have to clean up, and blaming it on a stuffed figure? How does it keep your children on their best behavior?? I just don't get it. I don't particularly want to becuase I don't want to imply that I care. I want to my kids to behave all year long, not just for a month, and I want them to know why we're buying them their presents, and that they're coming from us AND Santa.

Okay, I really feel that a weight has been lifted off my chest. Thanks for reading!

XoXo,
Tia

Wedding OVERLOAD

Chris and I just became officially engaged this past Sunday, November 10, 2013, and I am already in wedding overload! I no longer wonder what causes a bridezilla! There's too much to plan! Engagement pictures, engagement party, wedding anouncement, invitiations x4 (party, 2 showers, and wedding.) Then there's flowers, venues, food, wedding party, registering, dresses, tuxes, shoes, dates, and so much more! I have been working on the guest list for the actual wedding and I am already at 68 people and that is only family, and not even including my side, apart from my immediate family.What I once thought would be a quiet, intimate wedding, will be bigger than I anticipated. I mean, I understand everyone wanting to be there to celebrate with us, but that's a lot  of mouths to feed. Especially at $15 per person. At the 68 people who I've already written down and at $15 a person that's already $1,020 just for the food! I don't want to pay that!  I'm thinking that naybe I want to have an afternoon wedding instead of an evening one because you can give them snacks and be happy. Although, if I have my wedding at this one beautiful venue that's only $300 to rent, I could enlist my family and Chris's to cook for it. That is an appealing idea. See, even though no one reads these amazing blogs, it gives me an outlet for my thoughts.

Okay, crisis is adverted.

XoXo,
Tia

Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

People grow and change, some together, some apart; some at the same rate, others faster or slower. You can't let people changing keep you from loving and experiencing life. Love who you want to love. Feel how you want to feel. Never give up on what's important to you. Don't be ashamed because of how you feel or what you do. Be proud of yourself in any situation you're in. Don't let other people's opinions dictate your life. You are your own ruler and no one can rule your life for you or without your consent.You are in charge and don't let someone else take control out of your hands! You cannot please everyone, so don't try. Make yourself happy and the rest will fall into place. Only you can decide how your life will change. Only you can decide how fast or slow your life changes, but whatever you do, don't fight change because it's going to happen. Change is inevitable.

News is here!

Hello my lovlies! I haven't written lately, and it's because I haven't had words rolling around my head begging me to write (or in this case type) them down. I guess I will begin with we got the new engagement ring and wedding band on Saturday and we sent his off to be cut down to size!!! Super stoked to get my engagement ring back, it's being especially made me for me! We were able to bring the wedding band home with us Saturday, and they are BEAUTIFUL!!! Also, I have written my vows as of last night, they're sweet, but not too mushy. I wrote them on graph paper with a sharpie, so today I am going to re-write them on actual notebook paper and pen.

I normally don't say things like they're blessed or I am blessed, but today as I sit and think about all I have received and been able to do in my life, I realize that I am blessed. And God blessed me even more by bringing Christopher and I together. I am not a sentimental, mushy woman, but when  I think of everything Chris and I have been through, I am amazed more and more that he loves me and wants to marry me. He really is my dream come true.

XoXo,
Tia

Registering

Today I began registering for the wedding! Only at Bed, Bath, and Beyond so far, but it's progress! I am beyond excited! Toasters, blenders, hampers, vacuums, lap desks, irons, waffle makers! You can register for anything! I even registered for bedding! :) I think Target will be my next registry place, most stuff should be cheaper than Bed, Bath, and Beyond. Speaking of that, what is the "beyond?" Electronics? Seasons? Music? Candy? I even registered for new bedding! And I am stoked about registering for the robotic vacuum cleaner, my little doggy Lacey will hate it!!!

More good news, we're going ring shopping Saturday!!! Hilight of my year! I already have his, but it needs to be sized about half a size smaller. He's got skinny little fingers. :)

I think that is my bragging for now.

XoXo,
Tia

Baby Names

I have previously written names I don't like. Well, when Christopher and I produce an offspring in a few years from now we've narrowed down the names. Now I know you nay-sayers are going to say, "You'll change your mind" but nope, we love these!

Emmett Benjamin Parson (Obviously for a boy)

and

Charoltte Lucille Parson (Obviously for a girl)

We've thrown around a lot of other names, but these are the best. Other names we once liked

Timothy Russell
Russell Timothy
Jacob Edward
Jacob Emmett
Emmett Jacob
Christopher David Jr
Jep Parson

Lilly Madison
Lilly Maude (Chris's idea :< )
Annabelle
Isabelle Marie
Anna Belle
Anna Grace (our niece is now named this)
Isabelle Madison
Madison Isabelle
Charlie Mae
Lillie Mae
Rachel Elizabeth
Danielle "Dani" Rae

There were more, but we love the names we chose. We know that God willing we won't have children for a few years, but we like to think of how they will be, what they will look like, etc..

I know when we have a kid we'll be good parents because we've had great examples.

XoXo,
Tia

Male Nurse

He works and works
And the job's never done.
Someone always needs him more.
He gives all he has,
and he still finds time for me.
He is there for anyone when needed,
and he goes beyond the expected.
He's a natural born leader,
and when he talks people stop to listen.
He doesn't get off days or breaks,
and he'll work 48 hours straight.
He doesn't give up or take no as the answer.
He'll worry about you and get no sleep.
When he is "off the clock" he is still on it,
thinking about new ways to relieve someone's pain.
He'll stay all night if he needs to,
Because his work is never done.
He's a male nurse, one of the few,
the one with the big heart,
the one who loved it from the start.
The one who will never part.

Some of you may not know that the love of my life is a male hospice nurse. He loves what he does, and I love that about him. He'll come home at night and still not rest because he has paper work to do. Or, he'll stay up all night by the phone because a patient isn't doing well. He is the hardest worker I have ever seen, and I just wanted to share his passion with everyone.

XoXo,
Tia

That time...

of the month is upon. None of my clothes fit, I'm tired, I'm hungry, I'm achey, and I am emotional. I swear somedays I would much rather be a man than a woman. Who really wants to bleed for 5-7 days and have acne, night sweats, crazy dreams, and cramps out the wazoo!? Who wants to be an emotional roller coaster with the only explanation being, "Oh, it's that time of the month." I'm all for woman empowerment or whatever, but for just a week a month I want to be a man! If men had to bleed like we do for a week at a time, they would go to the hospital freaking out! You know what makes periods even more terrible?? We're being cursed by God for a sin that we didn't even commit. The wife of Adam, Eve, ate off the tree in the Garden of Eden and her punishment was for all of woman kind. You know, in one hand I can't wait until I become pregnant because I get up to 10 glorious months without a period; however, with that being said, I am in no way ready to br thrusted into motherhood. It will be cool when the time is right, but for now, babysitting nieces and nephews is the trick to not being a mommy. In about 3-4 years ask me again, and my womb will be on fire, but for now I just want to enjoy my time with my honey!

That's all for now!
XoXoXo
Tia

On the Day you Were Born

On the day you were born,
The angels began to sing,
On that warm fall day,
It had a new ring,
A baby is born,
A little brown eyed boy,
Oh the mischevious joy,
You will bring,
You'll get into a little trouble,
And you'll raise a little hell along the way,
But when you say, "I love you" it melts it all away.

Now, that baby isn't quite so little,
You're 6 years old today,
And every year on your birthday,
The angels still sing for you,
They celebrate our boy's day with us,
And they watch you grow and keep you safe,
You're 6 years old and full of questions,
You're 6 years old and full of wonder,
You raise a little hell from time to time,
And you fight with your cousin when the moment is not right,
But you still melt everything away when you say, "I love you,"

Only time can tell where you will go,
What you will do and who you will be,
Those kissed boo boos will scar over,
And you'll forget where they came from,
You'll fall in and out of love,
You'll break some hearts,
And have your heart broken, too,
And every year, the angels will still sing for you,
Celebrating another year of our boy,
Another year of our lives being a little more full,
Another year to remember the day you were born.

More names I hate!

26. Star

27.  Irenee (like irony)

28. Haven

29. Lela

30. Lila

31. Lola

32. Henley

34. Sage

35. Blakely

36. Jaylen (or any spelling of it)

37. Jaden

38. Haden

39. Aiden

40. Brayden

41. Memphis

42. Isaac

43. Brent

44. Natalie

45. Leslie

46. Bracklin

47. Quenisha

48. Rochelle

49. Rodham

50. Laiken

50 names off the top of my name that are terrible! You think changing the spelling makes your kid original or unique?? It just gives your child harder/more awkward names to spell and your kid grows up with a highly unorthodox name! What happened to regular, strong names? They're too old fashioned, y say? Well to me they're strong, if they were good enough to build this country, they're good enough for me!

XoXo,

Tia

Names I don't like

Lately, I have been hearing the most God awful names, and I am going to share them with yall. Also, some of the names will be names of people I have met that I just didn't like. So, here goes!

1. Astin
2. River
3. Shannon
4. Melody
5. Embry/Ember
6. Bryntley
7. Bryston
8. Archer
9. Jaxon- (I don't mind Jackson)
10. Pear
11. Apple
12. Stone
13. Hadley
14. Pasha
15. Truly
16. Colbie
17. Raven
18. Preston
19. Dakota
20. Kennedy
21. La'Shea
22. Brooklyn
23. Nevaeh
24. Maddison (too many of them)
25. Patricia

I'll write more later, but work is getting busy. Plus, I will come back with more hideous names!

XoXo,
Tia

That Girl.

So, I became that girl last night when it was midnight and Chris still wasn't home.I was baking cakes and cookies for his work, and had been since 6 that evening. Well, come midnight all I knew was that he was still at the office with his boss, who is a female. I broke one of the cakes, I was tired, and broke, so I drove to his office and embarassed us both. I did get his debit card and I did remake the cake and we talked it out, when he got home. Even though I knew he wasn't doing anything wrong or scandelous, I still went up there and confronted him because if the situation was reversed, he would have done the same thing. He is a male nurse, so he primarily works with females, therefore, I have to trust him as much as possible. But when it's midnight and he's not home and he was supposed to get off at 8, your mind begins to worry. I hated to do it, I was shaking the whole way, and I regret it now, but I was at my witts end.

So, Christopher, because I know you read these, here is my public apology. I am so sorry about freaking out last night, I have never been that girl before, and I never will be again. I love you so much.

That's it for now.

XoXo,
Tia

What Makes Me Mad?? Part 2.

Well the computer froze and I couldn't finish my rant, so here goes!

5. People who complain about what they can't fix- If you can't change it, don't complain about it! Obviously it's there tp stay, so quit your belly aching! I don't know about you but it really grates my nerves to hear people complain about almost anything.
    Things okay to complain about, injuries, death, job loss, destruction of car/house/family, and illness.

6. People who complain about things they can change- You want to lose weight? Eat half as much, exercise twice as much! You don't like your job? Apply for a new one? You're unhappy being single? Go out and find someone to date! You're unhappy in your marriage? Spice up the bedroom or get a divorce? You want to make more money? Work more hours! If you can change it, DON'T complain about it.

7. People Who Think They Know EVERYTHING- It's cute on a 6 year old, "Did you know Auburn won last night?" "Yeah, I know." If you're 35, and no one can tell you anything because you already know...Yeah right, you're not that smart or witty, you only wish you were. You think you're funny because you say I know whenever someone tells you something? You're not funny, you're a jerk.

8. People Who Use People- Because that'll make you look like a cool person right? You want to use someone and take what they have, but you don't give them anything back? How rude! You think it's okay to continually take from someone but not okay for you to give them something in return? Eventually the well will dry up and the only thing the giver will have from you is a sour taste in their mouth from you.

Okay, I think that's all for now.

XoXo,
Tia

What Makes Me Mad??

1. Liars- stay away from me. I have dealt with liars my whole life, so if you have problems relaying the truth, just stay. Also, exaggerations fall into the same category as lying, what is so hard about being honest? I mean, if you can't tell the truth, I can't waste time on you. Case closed. End of story.

2. People who don't follow through- Don't say you're going to do something and then never do it. I don't put hope in anyone to do something unless they have proven to me that I can trust them. I even have problems believing my family and friends will follow through. Depending what it's on, I don't even trust my fiance. (Love you, Christopher!) I believe if you want something done right and on time, you have to do it yourself.

3. People who talk to BABIES like they're puppies- Why do people, mostly women, have the incessant need to change they're voices and talk like this, "Aren't you just the cutest little thing? I could just eat you up!" "Oh, what does baby want? Does baby want a baba? Would baby wike a baba?" I just want to rip out peoples vocal cords when they do that! You want your child to talk like a normal human, talk to them like they are one!!

4. People who treat you differently because who they're around- I'm going to always treat you the same no matter who I am around. I could be in a meeting with the Pope, the President, and the Easter Bunny, and I would still treat you like I do when we're alone together. I will never falter on who I am or how I act because I scenario changes!

5.

Premarriage Counseling

Premarital counseling is a type of therapy that helps couples prepare for marriage. Premarital counseling can help ensure that you and your partner have a strong, healthy relationship — giving you a better chance for a stable and satisfying marriage. Premarital counseling can also help you identify weaknesses that could become bigger problems during marriage.
Premarital counseling is often provided by licensed therapists known as marriage and family therapists. These therapists have graduate or postgraduate degrees — and many choose to become credentialed by the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT). Premarital counseling might be offered through religious institutions as well. In fact, some spiritual leaders require premarital counseling before conducting a marriage ceremony.

Premarital counseling helps couples improve their relationships before marriage. Through premarital counseling, couples are encouraged to discuss a wide range of important and intimate topics related to marriage, such as:

• Finances
• Communication
• Beliefs and values
• Roles in marriage
• Affection and sex
• Children and parenting
• Family relationships
• Decision making
• Dealing with anger
• Time spent together

Premarital counseling helps partners improve their ability to communicate, set realistic expectations for marriage and develop conflict-resolution skills. In addition, premarital counseling can help couples establish a positive attitude about seeking help with their marriages down the road.
Keep in mind that you bring your own values, opinions and personal history into a relationship, and they might not always match your partner's. In addition, many people go into marriage believing it will fulfill their social, financial, sexual and emotional needs — and that's not always the case. By discussing differences and expectations before marriage, you and your partner can better understand and support each other during marriage. Early intervention is important because the risk of divorce is highest early in marriage.

The only preparation needed for premarital counseling is to find a therapist. Loved ones and friends might give recommendations based on their experiences. Your health insurer, employee assistance program, clergy, or state or local mental health agencies also might offer recommendations.
Before scheduling sessions with a specific therapist, consider whether the therapist would be a good fit for you and your partner. You might ask questions like these:

• Education and experience. What is your educational and training background? Are you licensed by the state? Are you credentialed by the AAMFT? What is your experience with premarital counseling?
• Logistics. Where is your office? What are your office hours?
• Treatment plan. How long is each session? How often are sessions scheduled? How many sessions should I expect to have? What is your policy on canceled sessions?
• Fees and insurance. How much do you charge for each session? Do you accept my insurance? Will I need to pay the full fee upfront?

Premarital counseling typically includes five to seven meetings with a counselor. Often in premarital counseling, each partner is asked to separately answer a written questionnaire, known as a premarital assessment questionnaire. These questionnaires encourage partners to assess their perspectives of one another and their relationship. They can also help identify a couple's strengths, weaknesses and potential problem areas. The aim is to foster awareness and discussion and encourage couples to address concerns proactively. Your counselor can help you interpret your results together, encourage you and your partner to discuss areas of common unhappiness or disagreement, and set goals to help you overcome challenges.
Your counselor might also have you and your partner use a tool called a Couples Resource Map — a picture and scale of your perceived support from individual resources, relationship resources, and cultural and community resources. You and your partner will create separate maps at first. Following a discussion with your counselor about differences between the two maps, you'll create one map as a couple. The purpose is to help you and your partner remember to use these resources to help manage your problems.
In addition, your counselor might ask you and your partner questions to find out your unique visions for your marriage and clarify what you can do to make small, positive changes in your relationship.
Remember, preparing for marriage involves more than choosing a wedding dress and throwing a party. Take the time to build a solid foundation for your relationship.

(http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/premarital-counseling/MY00951/DSECTION=what-you-can-expect)

This was all brought to you by The Mayo Clinic. I am 100% for Premarrital Counseling, it helps you ask the questions you wouldn't have thought of before. It helps to know your partner on a deeper more emotional level. When Chris and I finally get married, we will go to the counseling sessions in sequential weeks leading up to THE BIG DAY! We already know that Father David, who is marrying us, will also be our Premarrital Counselor. Divorce is just a word made up of 7 letters, it doesn't apply to us. We take marriage very seriously because it is a life long committment. I know when Chris and I get married I will be marrying my best friend, the love of my life, the future father of my children, the man I am going to grow old with. The one who takes my breath away everyday! A marriage isn't just a party, it's a promise to always be the one and only your partner turns to in times of happiness and times of grief. It's a promise to be the listener you want him to be, and the giver you know he is. To get married means to tie your lives together as one inseparable being. The two of you together can accomplish what you wouldn't be able to accomplish by yourself. 

I believe that if you really want your marriage to work, then Premarrital counseling is the way to go because it doesn't matter if you've been togther 1 year or 10 years, there's still something to learn. Premarrital counseling isn't "Old Fashioned," it applies to each and every engaged couple!

XoXo,
Tia